A New Era of End-Of-Life Choices

Why More People Are Saying “No Thanks: to Traditional Burials

As you can imagine, I have a lot of conversations with people about estate planning. Not just because I wrote a book on the topic or speak publicly about it regularly - but also because for the past several years, I’ve been involved in managing an active pioneer cemetery in Washington State. That role exposes me to many engagements with others regarding the topic of burial.

And by burial, I mean how, or even if, they want to be buried. It's now the exception when someone tells me they or their loved ones want to have a casket burial.

Most people choose cremation and, more often than not, they want their ashes scattered. The most common reason? Cost. A traditional burial can be expensive and many families are looking for simpler options.

But what's interesting to me, is that more and more people are looking for alternatives to traditional burial—not just because of cost, but because of meaning. In fact, in 2024 a whopping 68% of Americans polled by the National Funeral Directors Association stated they would be interested in exploring "green" options for a variety of reasons.

Most people want something that feels more personal… or more in line with their environmental values… or simply less formal and more reflective of who they are. And if you haven't been keeping up with this trend, there are surprisingly a lot of options!

So, let's take a brief dive into what those are.

🌱 Human Composting (Yes, It’s Real)

Also called natural organic reduction, this is one of the newest—and most sustainable—options available. The body is placed in a controlled environment and transformed into nutrient-rich soil over about 30 to 45 days. Families often receive a portion of the soil to use in planting trees or gardens.

It’s currently legal in Arizona, California, Colorado, Delaware, Maine, Maryland, Nevada, New York, Oregon, Vermont, and Washington (the first state to legalize it).

It has also been approved to become legal in California (takes effect in 2027), and Minnesota (takes effect July 1st).

No doubt, in time more states will likely follow.

💧 Water Cremation (Alkaline Hydrolysis)

Instead of flames, this method uses water and an alkaline solution to gently reduce the body. It produces fewer carbon emissions, and many families say it feels like a more natural process. It’s now legal in about 26 states and becoming more widely available through progressive funeral providers.

🌊 Reef Memorials & Ocean Tributes

Imagine your ashes helping to build a marine habitat. That’s what happens with reef burials—your remains are mixed into environmentally safe concrete and placed underwater to create a living reef.

These memorials can include custom plaques, be named for the deceased - and yes, even include your beloved pets! It’s a legacy gift to nature and a stunning tribute.

Memorial reefs must be legally permitted by federal, state, and local governments. Currently there are several permitted locations in the United States off the coasts of Florida (Atlantic, Gulf, and Panhandle coasts), Maryland, New Jersey, North Carolina, South Carolina, Texas, and Virginia.

To date more than 3,000 reefs have been placed, Many options also exist internationally.

There are also companies that offer scattering-at-sea services with GPS-marked locations, biodegradable urns, or even memorial cruises.

💎 Ashes Turned to Keepsakes

Some families want something they can hold close. That’s where options like Parting Stone come in—where ashes are turned into smooth, white stones you can keep in a bowl or share among family. Others choose to have ashes turned into jewelry, ink for memorial tattoos, or even incorporated into art or glasswork.

Celebrations of Life—On Your Terms

Gone are the days of cookie-cutter funerals. Today's celebrations of life are often held at wineries, parks, family homes, or other meaningful places. They include music, memory tables, stories, and even themed décor. Some include video tributes or livestreams for loved ones who can’t attend in person.

Planning Is the Key

If any of this resonates with you, you're not alone. These shifts reflect a larger cultural change—one that values personalization, connection, and sustainability.

If you’re drawn to something non-traditional, that’s wonderful and I hope this quick overview of options has helped. But remember that it is so important to make sure it’s not just a wish you mention casually at dinner. Write it down. Talk to your family. Include it in your estate plan.

And one last thing - since I have a slight obsession with genealogy (I admit it!), I always encourage people to record where ashes are scattered or placed. Future generations may go looking for that information - and you'll be helping them connect the dots of their family history.

❤️ Final Thought

There’s no one “right” way to be remembered. Whether you prefer something traditional, something green, or something uniquely you, what matters most is that your wishes are known—and honored.

And that’s something estate planning can absolutely help you do.

The more unique your choice, the more important it is to put it in writing. That way, your loved ones will have clarity—and the confidence to carry out your wishes exactly as you wanted.